John August Stetson.

John August Stetson.
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John August Stetson was a man of at fairs,
in the place he chose to realde,
He’d been justice of the peace, and all the police,
And many things else, on the side.

The people need laws, so John August declared,
Suca laws as I now have in mind.
To regulate eating, drinking and breath- ing,
And other things of a like kind.

Now Peterson’s poor when he ought to be rich,
The reason is not far to seek.
For Roebuck is rich when he ought to be poor,
This I’d change in less than a week.

If sent to the state house with power to
RCL, I’d show you the things I could do.
I would change things around, I’d regu-
late things In a way that would surely suit you.

The railroads I’d tackle and bring to my terms.
I would make each double its track
And charge less than it now does to take
wheat out And less to bring merchandise back.

Wilson, who stutters, should be made to talk plain,
And squinting the law should forbid,
For the tet’ling of women and kissing of giris
The law should provide a stout lid.

The rain should be ruled l’ke everything else
To prevent the presence of mud,
To keep the dust laid, to banish the drought,
And forever prohibit the flood.

All this will I do and very much more
If only commissioned to act.
Said he, as he smiled on woman and child
And won by his “consummate tact.”

T’was to the state senate John August was sent,
Puffed with concelt and with pride.
You’d think from the things he now said he would do,
All creation he purposed to guide-

At farming John August had been a suc- cess,
As a smith he did not excel,
Which shows in one thing a success we may be,
And yet not in others do well.

That a man raises corn which taxes his crib,
And hogs best, suited for bacon,
Is no sign he’d know, if he happened to see,
Nature’s own plan of taxation.

A man who’s an expert at running a Joom,
Because of this skill and knowledge,
Would hardly be called on to run steamboat,
Or formulate rules for a college.

Not so with men chosen to tinker our laws;
All they need is plenty of votes,
No matter how lacking in wisdom and sense,
If they wear the right party coats-

When to his committee an expert ap- peared
On matters he’d long tax’d his bram,
John August was jealous, as ignorance is,
And he would not let him explain.

He never attempted to learn the right way
That Nature invites us to tread,
He was jealous of Nature, so tried to get
All be done “from out of his head.”

If you think John August is only myth,
As to ignorance and conceit, a
Just go to the State House where I have been
And witness a committee meet.

But John August Stetsons hear never a sound,
The ego their minds all embrace,
A better condition we never shall have
Till we make them right-about-face.

And we listen, ouselves, to the voice of our God,
And vote as it prompts us to act,
And turn a deaf ear to all which we hear
That’s prompted by “consummate tact.”

John August Stetsons are confined to no race,
Nor yet to any one nation,
On every sod they presumptuously try
To amend the laws of Creation.

As knowledge increases, as Nature we heed,
Our statutes will dwindle away,
And be-it-enacteds will make a small book,
All read in much less than a day.

Justice will come to displace precedent,
And laws will not furnish a plan
For the grasping to steal, under their cover,
‘The inheritance God gave man,
-A. J. GRAY, St. Paul.