PEGGY READS THE PAPER.

PEGGY READS THE PAPER.
250.4

Here’s the paper-I must skim it,
For I want the news, of course;
Another bank cashier’s absconded,
Mrs. Brown gets her divorce,
Half a page reporting Congress,
I don’t want to wade through that,
Trusts and labor troubles-mercy,
They must wonder where they’re at!

The Czar is threatened-that’s no wonder,
Trouble at an Irish wake,
Mr. Croesus’ daughter’s married-
Goodness! what a fuss they make;
The Woman’s Page-it makes me tired,
It is such insipid truck,
Half a dozen jokes-all ancient,
They have been in Judge and Puck.

News of courts and crimes and quarrels,
I don’t care for that, I’m sure,
Nothing much about amusements,
Politics I.can’t endure,
The weather map and observations,
“Rain and colder “-well, we’ll see,
Here’s a poem-I’ll not read it,
Looks as stupid as can be.

The sporting page-I always skip it,
With its wrestle, race and box,
And the page about the markets,
Who’d be bothered reading stocks?-
No one’s dead and no one’s married-
No one that I ever knew-
Ah! at last! the Advertisements,
I must read them thro’ and thro’!
-Susie M. Best.