The President’s English

THE PRESIDENT’S ENGLISH
4643

These grafting words (so we are told,
Though it seems very funny)
Have been for years n-wasting of
The people’s hard-earned money!
And Roosevelt has set about,
In a manner most compelling,
To turn the wicked letters out
And thus reform our spelling

The silent letters, though they shriek,
Will be Investigated:
The naughty diphthongs (never wad),
Will soon be separated!
And all words be made moral, as-
To give a diagram-
The wicked “n” cut off, why then,
There’s nothing wrong with “dam”

But-shade of Noah Webster! (Invoked by Dr Funk),
Your “unabridged” you’ll never know
When as it has been shrunk
But when you think of what we’ll save,
As without doubt you shall,
You’ll not object-thus we expect 2 bild that dam’d kanal
-St Louis Globe-Democrat