William Also-Randolph Hearst

WILLIAM ALSO-RANDOLPH HEARST
4641

Willle runs a supplement which al- ways beats the news:
Willle runs for president, with noth- ing much to lose-
Willie’s always running, whether by request or not
Whenever there’s a vacancy, it’s wil- lle-on-the-Spot

Frisky Willie, risky Willle, feverish for speed,
Prints a rapid journal, so that he who runs may read

Willle runs for governor quite regu- lar of late,
Willie runs the government (or tries at any rate)
Willle looks on polities with serious intent,
As a sort of annex to his comic sup- plement
Willing Willie, wanton Willie, can he, will he quit?
Willle’s always playing tag-and yet he’s never it

Willie ran for mayor once, but when he realized
That he was defeated he was not at all surprised
In this land, which (Willie says) by grafters is accursed,
Almost everybody has defeated Wil- lie Hearst

Dreaming Willie, scheming Willie, hitting at the pipe;
He’s one type of journalism-his Journal’s mostly type

When he saw the puddles were the topics of the hour
Willle got a muck-rake of a hundred- donkey power,
Started up a geyser, shrilly shreeking all the time;
“Don’t you touch my mud! I’ve got a scoop on this here slime!”

Frantic Willie, antic Willie, always on the jump
Willie found the muck-rake slow, and so he bought a pump

Brimstone is to Willle quite the mild- est of emulsions-
Dowle multiplied by fits and Lawson in convulsions;
Any great calamity that comes the world to curse,
Read it in the “Journal”-and you’ll find that it is worse

Bumptious Wille, gumptions Willie, running for a prize,
Keeps his circulation brisk by con- stant exercise
-Wallace Irwin,