THE MENACE OF REFORM.

THE MENACE OF REFORM.
447.1

When the plaints of the reformers bring about the childless flat,
When the women of the future deign to wear the birdless hat,
When the magazines, muck-rakelens, tell about the germtess beef,
When the Fourth is wholly crackless and split ears get relief:
When we get the graftless city and the smell-less gasoline.
With the passless politician and the deathless red machine,
Will the wordless joy that falls us be beyond the tongue or pen,
Or will quite contentiess nature make us yearn to kick again?

When the quitless kitchen lady lets us into her domain
Without giving two days’ notice as she bids us to refrain;
When the errorless stenographer gets all our letters right,
And we get microbeless milk and cream at morning and at night;
When the strapless car goes by us and with much precision waits
On the dirtless, mudless crossing while they open up the gates.
Will the fretless world be happy or will restless nature shout
For some old-time fret or worry just to rave and kick about?

When the frownless wife or mother takes her spotless washing down
And looks grieflessly about her on a smokeless, spotless town;
When they make the dumb piano and the noiseless phonograph
And the world goes romping worri less, with many a merry laugh;
When the boyless neighbor fills us with the rapture of delight,
When the songless cat goes noiseless through the stillness of the night;
Will we really be as happy as we were in days of old.
When we knew the doleful pleasure of a good, old-fashioned scold?

When the quite mistakeless umpire with his sure and moteless eye,
Calls with errorless precision every ball that passes by;
When some human benefactor makes a smokeless cigarette
And our woolens shall be shrinkless In the dampest kind of wet:
When mosquitos shall be stingless and we have the buzzless fly.
When the colfcless young baby has a purely soundless cry.
Will we cherish all these blessings or will human kind be hurled
Into sadness by the humdrum of an uncomplaining world?
-J. W. Foley.